Master, Dom, Sir, King the list goes on and on. To me this is my first hurdle and a huge hangup . However while googling everything I possibly can on the origin, terminology etc and of course being a Libra I try to balance all this new information with comparisons to “vanilla lifestyle “. Below you will see many of my mental battles and comparisons to what is accepted by society.
How can you call someone , more specifically a man, your Master, Owner, Lord, Dom? In the generation I grew up in (I’m an 80’s baby) in my household sex was not something discussed. When my father left my mother all men became known as assholes and not good for anything. I was just 9. When I entered womanhood I was handed pads and told don’t get pregnant. Still no direction on what to do. At 14 my boyfriend moved in per my mom’s permission and straight into my bed. The fear that had been implanted into my thoughts is probably the only thing that kept me from getting pregnant while in school. And is the main reason I remained a virgin till just shy of my 19th birthday. What was discussed was slavery, cults and race. Welcome to the South.
With that in mind my hangup with the term master and salve. Knowing what I know about the terms I only have negative feelings but then I have a fantasy about being a slave but it comes with conflicting emotions. In my reality though and my need to rationalize my decision we are all slaves to someone or something. I am a slave to my children and fiancee making sure they are fed, clothes clean, emotional needs met and etc. We are slaves to our employers so forth and so on. But because we don’t equate the same terms does it make it any different? We all have a Master and we are all slaves to someone or something. Whether you want to admit it or not.
Now with that being said the term Daddy and Sir. Sir is second nature to me. Once again the perks of being raised in the South. You learn to utilize your manners. No matter the age I automatically reply with sir or ma’am. Daddy on the other hand is a touchy subject but here is my rationalization. As a little girl we find ourselves seeking approval from our fathers. Wanting to hear him say good girl, baby girl, princess etc. We have a different love for the man that we look up to for an example of our future mate. But when the father is absent do these natural desires become what we look for in a sexual partner? Do I have daddy issues because I long for a man to call me baby girl or say good girl? Do I have Daddy issues because I long for his approval? I probably do but is it wrong to want to be taken care of and not have to worry about your needs or wants because Daddy is always there to tend to you at all times but only after he has used you? Did he really use you if what pleases him pleases you as well?