No I am not brainwashed, bdsm lifestyle is not a cult. Although there are plenty of people that will beg to argue that fact. That I know to be true.  However to be able to turn off my thoughts, worried and concerns and be able to just feel intrigues the hell out of me. To not have to be strong , to be able to relinquish even for only a few hours out of the day provides me with relief. 

To be an Alpha Female during every other aspect of my life is draining. There are days when I simply feel the weight of all my responsibilities crashing down and no escape in sight. We all have wanted to runaway at some point and to be given the opportunity to do so on a daily basis I would be a fool not to explore this possibility.  But am I a fool because to outsiders it seems like I’m running from my problems. To be able to be seen as beautiful, sexy, perfect isn’t that what women should seek from their partner no matter the terms of that relationship?  No matter what you consider your flaws and my list is long just like many friends I know both male and female. To be able to stand naked , from your clothes to your thoughts in front of someone and only feel what it is they feel for you, to see the beauty they see, to have all insecurities melt away from one look, one touch ,one thought. Just imagining this day sends shivers down my spine. The day my thoughts don’t make me try to hide my flaws but his thoughts make me love them.

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