I have always felt that I never fit society’s mold of the normal person. I have always felt a connection to the outsiders, the misfits and etc. I am the seeker of liked minded individuals who can see beyond the “vanilla” aspects of life. The routine, mundane cycle that harbors us all but a handful have been able to hide from its grasp.
My story began as any other’s that is until I turned 9. I caught my father with another woman. Shortly after they divorced and our life was anything but cookie cutter. My mother got into a relationship with a very verbally abusive man, who also directed that towards me from the age of 10 till I left at 17 if my memory serves me right. So two men that were supposed to protect me and lift me up instead tore me down and broke me.
When I left and moved out on my own I did it fucked up but I was past my breaking point on so many different issues. Am I proud of myself, no not one bit but the past is the past and I can not change that. I was finally free, young and dumb.
Fell into the hands of some good and bad, did what I wanted when I wanted and found comfort in hurting men emotionally that is. I was scorned by bitter emotions and fueled by a broken heart. I was taught the game by ,will call him Mr E, and that was all I needed to set course on a destructive 5 to 8 year roller coaster. Alcohol was my best friend, cigarettes my food and a blunt here and there. I became a mother not once but three times along the way. I thank God everyday for my children and for keeping my ignorant ass alive still to this day.
I have many stories to tell that elaborate in more detail my demons from my past and I shall share soon. Just as well as I know that without confronting those demons one will never be at peace, you know this as well.